A Jewish Journey of Identity and Courage

of the time, I stayed quiet. Sometimes I’d change the subject, but mostly I just ignored her, acting as if I hadn’t heard her at all. Shelly scanned our faces, clearly hoping for some input, but we all remained silent. With a sigh, she said, “I can see this is a tough situation to navigate. Kids can be really cruel, and no one wants to feel isolated. I’ll let you in on a secret: adults struggle with this kind of thing too.” I smiled at that. I’d never really thought about how my parents dealt with these issues. Did they face similar situations? They never mentioned it, and I’d never asked. “I can offer you a few strategies for coping,” Shelly continued. “Sometimes it helps to distance yourself from the situation or seek assistance from an adult. But when that’s not an option, remember that most hurtful comments stem from ignorance and a lack of understanding. Everyone is bombarded with misinformation through social media and other channels.” I recalled a time when Dad nearly yelled at the TV, insisting the news anchor was lying. Mom had to calm him down, reminding him she couldn’t hear him. It had been funny at the time, but now I understood his frustration. “It’s important to stay calm and respond respectfully without getting into unnecessary arguments. Start by validating any points the other person makes, if they’re valid, to help calm them down and get them to listen. Then, counter with your strongest response. Pay attention to their allegations; you might find something you can turn to your advantage. Finally, end with a message of hope or peace. If all else fails, you can calmly express that their comments make you uncomfortable.” Tamir chuckled bitterly. “As if that would help,” he said. “Sometimes, it’s about the people close to you—friends who care can make a difference,” Shelly replied.

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